Took me awhile

So I have been absent for a bit... really haven't felt like being online. Plus I have been completely absorbed by watching Sex and the City in order. Currently at the end of Season 5. Good stuff I will say. Not too shabby... even if SJP looks like a horse most of the time. It has made me question why many women don't want to get married anymore though. Most of the females that I know do not have the white wedding dream, what has changed? Is it the high divorce rate or is it just not as important as it used to be? And what happened to the desire to procreate and carry on the human existence? Maybe our generation is more selfish? I mean don't get me wrong, I'm engaged, but I shudder everytime someone accidentally calls River my husband. And I'm pretty sure he has the same reaction when someone calls me his wife. Does that mean that we shouldn't have gotten engaged? Someone asked me why I said yes when he proposed if I don't have the desire to get married. I don't know if having a rock on my finger means that I have to get married. Marriage isn't for everyone and I really don't have the dream to wear a white gown and stand up in front of a ton of people and confirm my commitment to someone. I love River, I don't want to be with anyone other than River and I can't really picture the future without River but I don't want a piece of paper that says I have his last name. Living in sin is not so bad the only thing that would change is that piece of paper. And I really don't need anymore paper.
When did this all change? I know so many women that are fine with just having a boyfriend and being monogamous without all the hoopla of marriage. I know even more that are completely turned off by the thought of children as well. Interesting coming from someone who spends so much of her time in Hoboken, which feels like the knocked-up capital of the world. Bumper carriages every weekend and if they don't have a baby it seems that all the women are pregnant. Something in the tap water I guess.
I wonder where the white-picket fence, 2.5 kids, stay-at-home mom dream went.

In other things, I'm still as bitter as ever LOL. Really unhappy with my one job these days, but they will know soon enough. Once again looking for a job waiting tables, it really is the fastest way to money that I know without selling myself on the street corner. Then again, who knows if I have the personality for that anymore... bastard. The puppy if finally healthy, huge and healthy. He is very tall and now weighs in at 32 pounds and still growing. What was I thinking? Damn you adoption days!