Musings on my 26th Birthday

Yesterday I turned 26. Will this be the year that I make my own? Will I make this THE year? Do I have that kind of ambition and determination? I would like to think so but who the hell knows. It was a good freaking birthday. Maybe cus we did not try to plan anything for real and that helped. Yet I spend most of my time with one central group of people and can I tell you that only 1 of them wished me a happy birthday. Only one. Maybe I should not feel so bad but I do. I make sure that we all do things together and for everyone's birthday and then no one can even text message me 13 letters of well wishing. That bothers me... many things bother me these days. How I got thrown under the fucking bus and no one came to my defense... that bothers me. I am pretty tired of making myself so available for attack. Then again, my mouth has a mind of its own and I apparently do not know how to think before I speak. Whatever... I will just have to deal.