I got me some plans....

Where to begin? I have hopes and dreams like everyone else. I have a wide variety of interests. I am 26 yet more confused about my future than ever. I am scared of the piling debt that is accumulating. I am excited to go on vacation but frightened of more debt. I am a college graduate with a BA in American Studies and a minor in English... yeah I know why don't I be a teacher? Cus I don't want to be one. I think that is the simplest answer. I am not interested in any sort of way... I have never received that calling. I do believe I want to attend the Gallatin School at NYU in the future... I am impressed with their program and I would like to continue to learn. I enjoy American Studies but I don't know what I want to do with it.

Today I have the opportunity to sit down with one of my employers and talk about a better job position. I must stand strong and lay down what I want and stick to my guns. I need to be making so much a week and it needs to happen. I have bills to pay. Today I will also be having a six month review at my other job which could potentially lead to another raise which would be nice. So the job part of my life seems secure *knock on wood*. It would be nice to make enough to cover all the bills for the month and have his job pay for the extras every month. Yet when we get back from Cali he will be looking for a much better position than his current one. So either way I would like my job to cover the majority of the bills and have plenty left over for a cushion. It would be nice to put some money away again.

Yesterday was our 5 year anniversary. Which leaves me wondering what the next year will bring. What do I want from this year... in my love life and personally?

Short term goals off the top of my head:

* have a concrete income (it looks like soon I will be working 60+ hours a week, which in the grand scheme of things I will have to do because I have some serious debt, but it will lead to money)

* start looking and find an apartment that will take my doodles (I will not give them up for anything)

General goals:

* Get my ass to the gym that I pay an arm and a leg for. Can't lose weight if I do not make an active attempt.

* Pay off the credit cards because the school debt will be there for a LONG time.

* Make a decision on school.

* Get the experience I can at the restaurant so if I decide to move to Cali I have something else under my belt.

* Phase meat out of my diet. I really want to go vegetarian and must make a real change.

* Learn to breathe... I am stressed. I need to learn to go with the punches and take everything in stride. I fly off the handle way too easily.

* Begin the wedding process or decide if that is not going to happen.

* Be more diligent about my writing.

* Less TV, more books...

Right now this is all I can think about. I know most of them are useless and small and not really life changing. But right now I don't need anything life changing. I just need to better myself and stop being so fucking confused about everything. It would be nice to even out my moods without the help of drugs but there are so many days that I believe that some pretty blue pills would be ideal.
I thank something every day for my friends. Without them I would be a mess. That is the only scary part of moving to California... I would miss my friends way too much and the NYC skyline. But I will not miss these extreme seasons. That is for sure. Ok this blog has been an all day process so I am going to shower and sleep. WOOO!