4.9.09

I can't come up with anything witty. I don't know what the fuck I'm going to ramble on about today... so I give up. So yeah... unoriginal, uninspired me has decided to date this/future posts.

Quote of the day/week/month/life:

"It's not about the money we make, it's about the passions that we ache for. What makes your heart beat faster? Tell me now what does your body long after..." Anberlin


Went to the dentist today, am I the only one that absolutely loves having my teeth cleaned? Even though I had to have a cavity filled it was still a good time. I <3 my dentist, the tech, the hygienist, and Nicole, the receptionist.

And onto the good stuff... saw the doc for my post-op visit. Sooooo sorry for the gross stuff but apparently I had stringy, tissue adhesions on my ovaries, pelvic wall, uterus and bladder. Quite ugly to look at in the pictures but now they are all gone!!!! YAY! So 2 more weeks until I can become the runner that I want to become. And 1.5 months until I'm allowed to do abdomenal centered work (i.e. crunches, pilates, etc). Yeah cus I do that so much... I should be healed completely in about 2 months. Fun times.

I was sitting on the suicide girls site today and can I tell you that I am super excited to apply and to shoot a set with Siouxsie at the end of this month??? I hate pics but nudie times here I come. Yeah sorry if that image upsets people LOL. Oh good times. But seriously some guys are super gross on that site, the dirty emails I have received are sometimes skeevy yet quite hysterical!

Wish I had funny random thoughts today... oh here's one... while I was speeding from one doc to the other. Why is it that people make fucking power moves in their car to only get in the other lane around traffic and then drive like molasses? And why always in front of me, even when I'm not in a rush.... DAMN YOU PEOPLE! hahaha.

And I don't think I am bipolar... I think this is the reaction to coming off Zoloft. I swear I can do it this time au natural. Spring will make me happy.

I have a friend. I like him. He makes me happy. I'm keeping him.

Now back to Facebook to continue working on a page for my favorite band ever, A True Story. Let's start a grassroots campaign to get them signed. More later.

<3

Some random thoughts

Thank you San Diego Momma for coming to visit! It's nice when someone stops by my little corner and leaves some love.

Now some random thoughts:

- I felt sparkly today so I painted my nails a sparkly red color. I feel complete.

- Not being able to use a belt is a problem when your pants do not stay up and you have incisions in your abdomen. Hence the not being able to use a belt.

- Leaning against stuff HURTS when you have these aforementioned incisions in your abdomen.

- 90210 is my guiltiest pleasure, why in god's name I mention this here, and I hate the show. Yet I cannot stop watching it. AND TORI SPELLING is on next week. Can we just do a reunion show, eff these bi-polar, knocked-up, porn king kid, you're the one-you're not the one, my life cannot go on without you 16 year olds.

- After watching last night's guilty pleasure episode, I now think I am bi-polar.

- Watched Monday night's House and it hurt my heart. I understand that Kal Penn was offered an awesome job in Obama's White House, but SERIOUSLY suicide?? I watch this show for the snarky brilliance of House - NOT to CRY over Kutner.

- I have fantastic friends who took time out of their lives to babysit and take care of me last week when I was an invalid and I love them for it. Then I have some friends who kind of suck if I do say so myself.

- I have lost 5 pounds in the last week, I understand the liquid/painkiller diet is not all that healthy but food is not appealing, even a week after surgery. I would like to keep this small amounts of food diet up so I can continue to lose weight. I promise to throw in exercise and all that good stuff! And I have decided to stop calling myself fat, because I am not, I am curvy and out of shape LOL.

- Texting is evil. I have found the one person that I cannot text because he misconstrues everything I say and then gets mad and yells at me. And I cannot take the fact that he makes me cry. I am a retard. Damnet. It is not my fault that I am so fucking jaded I'm not used to people like him. Damn you SMS... damn you to hell, you broke me.

- I swear I am more positive ever since I went to my Tony Robbins seminar weekend. Yes, I said Tony Robbins-that man is awesome. Or I think I am, maybe not everyone around me concurs?

- I got accepted into the graduate program at Pacific College of Oriental Medicine and am pretty freaking excited even if it is $75,000 more of debt. Good debt, Katie, it is good debt. Keep telling myself this and I will be golden.

Okay wow I ramble a lot. I think I need to talk to someone about this manic-depressive thing LOL. Leave me some love... I am now going to visit my bloggie peeps and leave them some love.

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I love pajamas

I have been back to work since yesterday and can I tell you that I miss the freedom of being able to wear pajamas at all times and to nap at all hours. I am healing... slowly but surely I am healing. Lots of pain in the abdominal area but I am getting through it with some extra strength rapid release tylenol, since I'm an idiot and didn't fill my entire percoset order. How I love percoset and knowing that I am not allergic to it. That is all for now... I will be back later, cus it is time for me to take my ass home and nap. LOLOL

Ok yeah I'm sorry

i know that it doesn't really matter cus no one actually reads this thing. i have surgery in 12 hours... not too worried about it but i'm in super amounts of pain. i need a more upbeat blog. i think i need to change some ish in my life so that this blog becomes exciting. got an idea to start a fun one with my friend... the bitter hearts blog or some crazy shit like that. ok im going to take a sleeping pill and pass out. i will become super dedicated after surgery. i'm off from work for a whole week so i will have plenty of time. leave some love folks if you stumble upon my blog.

Whoa

I have not been here in AGES!!! I have been super busy. Now I shall catch up. That is all. Good day.

working on a mystery...

not really i just like that lyric. anyways... not much going on in life. I have become a BAND-aid. Not a groupie, but a band-aid. I just support, I don't spread my legs. LOL. Man I love boys in bands.

Keeping busy with work, the doc and I are both getting over being wicked sick for the last week and a half. I love working for a chiropractor. As soon as she adjusts my neck, my nose just drains and I can breathe again. It is wonderful stuff.

Working on a cool blog post that I have added myself to. Back to work!

25 random things....

1. I have no filter - if I'm thinking it, it will probably makes its way out of my mouth. I make no apologies for it.

2. I am a cutter, I haven't cut myself in 6 years, but just like alcoholics I take it one day at a time. I am proud of my scars, they show me how far I have come.

3. I'm allergic to the sun -no really- it has been confirmed by a doctor.

4. I have never been on a first date.

5. My obsession with Dave Navarro is all encompassing. I write his birthday in my planner, all my online names have to do with him (even my xbox gamertag), etc. I have the man's autograph tattooed to my arm for fuck's sake. I don't understand why I love him but for the last 15 years he is the epitome of what a beautiful man should be. *hangs head*

6. I have been engaged for the last 2.5 years and only recently realized I never want to get married. EVER.

7. I like to kiss girls, some people have called me a lesbian, a dyke, confused, bisexual, etc. I don't use labels, I define it as free-spirited. I am not adverse to loving a woman in all the ways possible - might as well seeing as I think about it enough.

8. I despise most of my family. I have a hard time believing people when they say they love me or compliment me. I know it stems from the utter rejection by my mother and numerous members of my family. I don't like myself, thank you mom.

9. I finally became a vegetarian - but bacon still makes me weak in the knees. Oh and corndogs too.

10. I make wicked good brownies, you will go into a sugar coma after eating them, but shit they are good. (Maybe the words brownie and shit should not be used in the same sentence.)

11. I have perfected the art of sarcasm, PERFECTED IT.

12. I have a very close knit group of friends, they are my true family. I am fiercely protective of them and I WILL walk to the ends of the earth for them.

13. However, I cut people out of my life. I don't like drama and I don't like headaches. Once you are gone from my life, you are GONE. I don't go back nor have I ever regretted these choices. I may not like myself, but I have too much self-respect for bullshit.

14. I have had a crush on the same boy since I was 12. And 14 years later I still find him to be amazing and he frightens me more today than he did then. But I hope to actually be his friend.

15. I am a fruit snob - I will not eat fruit that is not in season.

16. I name everything. My car is named Jamison, my computer is named Dottie Gale, my first cell phone was named Englebert. I name EVERYTHING.

17. I don't say the word dog and various other words because my southern accent slips out even after 21 years living in the North and my friends laugh at me. HAHA.

18. I believe I have a guardian angel because i should have died twice.

19. I have broken my nose 6 times - it has never had to be reset but it does have a slight curve.

20. The doctors have not confirmed it (because I have no desire to have the surgery yet) but I believe in my bones and whole-heartedly that I will not be able to conceive children. I am coming to terms with it because I will get to be the coolest aunt ever.

21. My heart was broken 6 years and almost 2 months ago. It has never healed.

22. I can't swim but water makes me feel at peace as do trees.

23. A Boy Named Goo is my favorite album. It kept me from killing myself, literally. Along with So Much for the Afterglow. ("Fucking up takes practice, I feel I'm well-rehearsed" is the mantra to my life)

24. I can go days without looking in a mirror - I am not fond of myself. Let me repeat that.

25. I talk in different accents, like all the time. I think they are my multiple personalities.

That's it, enjoy folks. If you have questions or comments - let me have them. Ehhhhh....